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30.3.11
6.1.11
my late new year's resolution
coming in a few days late, my new year's resolution is finally here. i will put myself on hold for a year to support family and learn to feel content with what they achieve. in order to provide the security my husband will need this year with his expanding business, i will not try to change my job although i hate it. in order to provide more opportunities for my daughter to explore the world, i will try to get my driver license although it won't be as easy as what it's for most people given my psychological issues in driving test.
i know it doesn't sound exciting, but i will manage to make the best of it. it's the beginning of a whole new year, after all, and i look forward to it.
i know it doesn't sound exciting, but i will manage to make the best of it. it's the beginning of a whole new year, after all, and i look forward to it.
feeling old
haven't written anything on this blog for years. but i never forgot that i had a goal once upon a time that i would translate my chinese blog to english. i started the project in this blog, but, as how most of goals we had/have in life hasn't, unfortunately, panned out and as most of you have already guessed, it didn't get done. these days, instead of having goals and watching them being ignored and failing, i gradually intend not to have any goals any more. i know it's very nagetive and it also doesn't make me feel good. it makes me feel old.
anyway, i was visiting my sis-in-law's new blog on this site and after a few clicks i'm here looking at my old blogs and thinking of the old days i was blogging and trying to remember that old self when i wasn't a mum, when i was in the early days of relationship, when i called the one boyfriend instead of husband, when i had a big fight and slamed the door and when i was so emotionally dependent on everything happened 8000 miles away where my root was from.
yes, as how much i love what i have in life today, every now and then, i miss being twenty-something-year-old. i don't miss looking young. i don't have any problems with my wrinkles whatsoever. but i miss being young that if i wanted to be irresponsble here and there, i could, that if i wanted to be spontaneous, i would have full of energy for it. that if i wanted to stay up late hanging out with friends, drinking, chatting and having fun, i could because i could sleep in as much as i wanted to on the next day.
well, i know i'm practically whining now. so i'm gonna stop. i don't regret any decisions i made in my life. on the contrary i would've regreted if i didn't make these dicisions. my husband and my daughter are the best things ever happened to me in life and i wouldn't change them for absolutely anything. just sometimes at the end of a long day, i look at the grass on the other side of fence and think i know it's not, but it does look a bit greener.
anyway, i was visiting my sis-in-law's new blog on this site and after a few clicks i'm here looking at my old blogs and thinking of the old days i was blogging and trying to remember that old self when i wasn't a mum, when i was in the early days of relationship, when i called the one boyfriend instead of husband, when i had a big fight and slamed the door and when i was so emotionally dependent on everything happened 8000 miles away where my root was from.
yes, as how much i love what i have in life today, every now and then, i miss being twenty-something-year-old. i don't miss looking young. i don't have any problems with my wrinkles whatsoever. but i miss being young that if i wanted to be irresponsble here and there, i could, that if i wanted to be spontaneous, i would have full of energy for it. that if i wanted to stay up late hanging out with friends, drinking, chatting and having fun, i could because i could sleep in as much as i wanted to on the next day.
well, i know i'm practically whining now. so i'm gonna stop. i don't regret any decisions i made in my life. on the contrary i would've regreted if i didn't make these dicisions. my husband and my daughter are the best things ever happened to me in life and i wouldn't change them for absolutely anything. just sometimes at the end of a long day, i look at the grass on the other side of fence and think i know it's not, but it does look a bit greener.
5.1.11
back to Dec 2007
I was always asked in the end of every year about the new year's resolution and I never really thought about it carefully. I gave out my answer every time I was asked anyway, although later on I always thought I could've/should've had a better answer.
I enjoy reading other's resolution though. The end of a year uniformed blogs. During this special peroid of time, bloggers tend to start a post with the review of the ending year followed by the resolutions of the coming one. Those who regard themselves different from the most will put sth like "I know it's the time for resolution, but I'm not going to do that..." to begin a post. It always made me laugh - why people have to label everything including themselves? Resolving in the resolution-y time doesn't necessarily mean that you are not DIFFERENT.
... ... ...
PS. It's an unfinished entry at Dec 07 and has been saved in draft since. Now it's on the first week of 2011 (still on resolution-y mode) and I thought I will just post it. It's still how I feel about new year's resolution.
I enjoy reading other's resolution though. The end of a year uniformed blogs. During this special peroid of time, bloggers tend to start a post with the review of the ending year followed by the resolutions of the coming one. Those who regard themselves different from the most will put sth like "I know it's the time for resolution, but I'm not going to do that..." to begin a post. It always made me laugh - why people have to label everything including themselves? Resolving in the resolution-y time doesn't necessarily mean that you are not DIFFERENT.
... ... ...
PS. It's an unfinished entry at Dec 07 and has been saved in draft since. Now it's on the first week of 2011 (still on resolution-y mode) and I thought I will just post it. It's still how I feel about new year's resolution.
back to Nov 2006
It seems I've been retired of writing blog in English... I always thought of waiting for being hit by special inspirations before I started writing, especially in English - with the assumption that inspiration could make up the shortage of language. Since it looks that it's not happening, I will just write.
I will write about my friends again, a different group of friends from my past entries in here. I think it might be the virtue of a ture friendship that you don't plan for anything. Before you realise, you are already very close friends.
Speaking of this, I want to mention what I believe in relationship that if you love a person, you won't have a reason. If you have reasons, eg you love him/her because he/she is rich, because he/she is successful, because he/she is smart, because he/she is good-looking and has a killer sexy body, you love the things they have more than the persons who they really are.
I guess I'm trying to say feelings. When it comes to friendship and relationship, feelings speak lounder than logic, at least it is what it's supposed to be.
Back to this group, I always have so much fun when I hang out with them. They are all intelligent, beautiful and handsome, and more importantly, funny.
... ... ...
PS. It was an unfinished blog I started on Nov 2006 and didn't get to finish. This group of friends are still close, except one who has left the group due to break-ups with someone in the group. I don't want to clarify right and wrong in the failure of this relationship because there's none. At the time when it happened, our judgement as their friends might have been influenced by certain emotions. But now, after so many years, it's not as challenging as it was to be able to see the big picture that as to, if not all, the most of failed relationship, the reason is as simple as that it just doesn't fit. No one is right or wrong, no one is good or bad. They hurt, they lie, they cheat, they treat partners badly... all because they think logically, emotionally or subconsciously that it doesn't fit. However, as "bad" as she was when she left the group, she was the very one who inspired me blogging in English during those years when she was around. She is smart and a good writer. I liked reading what she wrote and was always inspired by. I think the intention of this entry was to write about her.
I will write about my friends again, a different group of friends from my past entries in here. I think it might be the virtue of a ture friendship that you don't plan for anything. Before you realise, you are already very close friends.
Speaking of this, I want to mention what I believe in relationship that if you love a person, you won't have a reason. If you have reasons, eg you love him/her because he/she is rich, because he/she is successful, because he/she is smart, because he/she is good-looking and has a killer sexy body, you love the things they have more than the persons who they really are.
I guess I'm trying to say feelings. When it comes to friendship and relationship, feelings speak lounder than logic, at least it is what it's supposed to be.
Back to this group, I always have so much fun when I hang out with them. They are all intelligent, beautiful and handsome, and more importantly, funny.
... ... ...
PS. It was an unfinished blog I started on Nov 2006 and didn't get to finish. This group of friends are still close, except one who has left the group due to break-ups with someone in the group. I don't want to clarify right and wrong in the failure of this relationship because there's none. At the time when it happened, our judgement as their friends might have been influenced by certain emotions. But now, after so many years, it's not as challenging as it was to be able to see the big picture that as to, if not all, the most of failed relationship, the reason is as simple as that it just doesn't fit. No one is right or wrong, no one is good or bad. They hurt, they lie, they cheat, they treat partners badly... all because they think logically, emotionally or subconsciously that it doesn't fit. However, as "bad" as she was when she left the group, she was the very one who inspired me blogging in English during those years when she was around. She is smart and a good writer. I liked reading what she wrote and was always inspired by. I think the intention of this entry was to write about her.
18.12.07
highly recommended
Eventually, we have a good café in Sutherland after waited for so long.
Been there once, and will definitely pop in again. It’s called Easy Café, just right for this name, a peaceful little place with interesting pictures on the wall, where you can read in the jazzy blues, think through the peace of your mind, where deadlines and chores are put on hold, where you understand life was meant to be easy.
Then my coffee and cake came. Took a sip, it literately delivered all the meanings of a cup of coffee that I was asking for. Grabbed a spoon, it shamed its not-too-bad fellow cakes and redefined a word called ‘delicious’.
Having experienced all this, I felt I had to talk to the barista who is the owner of the shop and has turned a common daily thing into art. He’s friendly and funny, has many sense but no bullsh#t. He involved in each single details of the design and decoration, he said it’s just what he wanted.
Needless to say more, Easy Café, beautiful coffee and food, excellent services, warm and comfortable atmosphere, reasonable price, highly recommended!
P.S.
Easy Café is at Boyle St, the back of Boyle Hotel, in the arcade next door of Chinese restaurant.
Been there once, and will definitely pop in again. It’s called Easy Café, just right for this name, a peaceful little place with interesting pictures on the wall, where you can read in the jazzy blues, think through the peace of your mind, where deadlines and chores are put on hold, where you understand life was meant to be easy.
Then my coffee and cake came. Took a sip, it literately delivered all the meanings of a cup of coffee that I was asking for. Grabbed a spoon, it shamed its not-too-bad fellow cakes and redefined a word called ‘delicious’.
Having experienced all this, I felt I had to talk to the barista who is the owner of the shop and has turned a common daily thing into art. He’s friendly and funny, has many sense but no bullsh#t. He involved in each single details of the design and decoration, he said it’s just what he wanted.
Needless to say more, Easy Café, beautiful coffee and food, excellent services, warm and comfortable atmosphere, reasonable price, highly recommended!
P.S.
Easy Café is at Boyle St, the back of Boyle Hotel, in the arcade next door of Chinese restaurant.
7.2.07
The Dakiz Hit gig is comping up!
Dear friends
Please allow me to break a good news to you - the Dakiz Hit Rock 'n' Roll Review kicks off again on Feb 16th. This is the poster with all details.
In case you don't know about Dakiz Hit - it's an ultimate rock band that Chris, my fiance, plays guitar at. To know more about this band, please click Dakiz Hit Website.
In case you missed out their last gig, you could catch up some words at our fan/promoter's blog and photos at my space.
In case you have trouble to open the poster, please see the details of the coming gig as below.
Time: 8pm Friday Feb 16th 2007;
Venue: The Harp Hotel, 900 Princes Hwy, Tempe
Ticket: $8.00
Fasten your seatbelt, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to the night of rock!!! Bring your friends, grab some beers and have fun!
Please allow me to break a good news to you - the Dakiz Hit Rock 'n' Roll Review kicks off again on Feb 16th. This is the poster with all details.
In case you don't know about Dakiz Hit - it's an ultimate rock band that Chris, my fiance, plays guitar at. To know more about this band, please click Dakiz Hit Website.
In case you missed out their last gig, you could catch up some words at our fan/promoter's blog and photos at my space.
In case you have trouble to open the poster, please see the details of the coming gig as below.
Time: 8pm Friday Feb 16th 2007;
Venue: The Harp Hotel, 900 Princes Hwy, Tempe
Ticket: $8.00
Fasten your seatbelt, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to the night of rock!!! Bring your friends, grab some beers and have fun!
4.12.06
Honesty and silence
"Why are you honest?"
"Because I can't remember the lie I made up."
"So you're honest because you have a bad memory."
Inspired by this conversation among a group of friends who assume not to possess good memories, we decided to be complete honest at a distant-related party on Saturday. Intead of complimenting things we don't approve, hiding feelings to try to be cool, or talking about philosophy but actually thinking what do you look like naked, we decided to let our hearts talk. It turned out that it took me 30 minutes to get used to my friends' honesty while we scared others away in the rest of the night.
Conversation 1:
Girl A: Can I have a look at the picture you just took of me. I hope I don't look ugly there. (Obviously, she was fishing compliments. It was a good chance that she expected such replies as "you can't look ugly at all because you're beautiful!", however my honest friend gave the following respond.)
My friend: Everyone is ugly, depends on how you define beauty.
It took A 3 seconds to shock, 2 seconds to unnaturally smile and 1 second to disappear from our eyesights.
Conversation 2:
My friend A: How often do you think about sex in one day?
My friend B: Didn't count.
A: When you see a hot babe, do you think about sex straight away?
B: Sure, definitely.
When my friend was giving the details of when and how he thought about sex, a girl walked passed. Because we didn't intent to keep this conversation as a secret, not surprisingly, we were overheard. This girl gave us a look like we're freaks and left the room without a word even a smile.
We had a great night indeed as we enjoyed each other's company so much, although we were asked to stop taking pictures of ourselves and kicked out in the end with the reason that the party is over. Consequently it made me think. We all see honesty as an important virtue of being a decent person, but how many people can really stand even appreciate honesty? We say thousands or tens of thousands of words every day (regarding to S's knowledge, thanks S!*grin*), among which how many words are from our truely heart? Less than what we think, I guess. To be acceptable in society, we have to sacrifice honesty to say sth we don't mean. To be acceptable by ourselves, we require honesty to make our mind in peace. To be a person who I am and survive in society at the same time, we need a compromise - silence. We keep different opinions to ourselves when necessary in order to have principle without the expense of offending others.
Ironically, there is a chinese phrase called silent accept, which means when you're silent, you're assumed to accept or agree. Some business people say silence can be a weapon in negotiation if it is well used; some others say silence can save embarrassment in the game of relationship; I want to say silence can be as complicated as you could imagine.
"Because I can't remember the lie I made up."
"So you're honest because you have a bad memory."
Inspired by this conversation among a group of friends who assume not to possess good memories, we decided to be complete honest at a distant-related party on Saturday. Intead of complimenting things we don't approve, hiding feelings to try to be cool, or talking about philosophy but actually thinking what do you look like naked, we decided to let our hearts talk. It turned out that it took me 30 minutes to get used to my friends' honesty while we scared others away in the rest of the night.
Conversation 1:
Girl A: Can I have a look at the picture you just took of me. I hope I don't look ugly there. (Obviously, she was fishing compliments. It was a good chance that she expected such replies as "you can't look ugly at all because you're beautiful!", however my honest friend gave the following respond.)
My friend: Everyone is ugly, depends on how you define beauty.
It took A 3 seconds to shock, 2 seconds to unnaturally smile and 1 second to disappear from our eyesights.
Conversation 2:
My friend A: How often do you think about sex in one day?
My friend B: Didn't count.
A: When you see a hot babe, do you think about sex straight away?
B: Sure, definitely.
When my friend was giving the details of when and how he thought about sex, a girl walked passed. Because we didn't intent to keep this conversation as a secret, not surprisingly, we were overheard. This girl gave us a look like we're freaks and left the room without a word even a smile.
We had a great night indeed as we enjoyed each other's company so much, although we were asked to stop taking pictures of ourselves and kicked out in the end with the reason that the party is over. Consequently it made me think. We all see honesty as an important virtue of being a decent person, but how many people can really stand even appreciate honesty? We say thousands or tens of thousands of words every day (regarding to S's knowledge, thanks S!*grin*), among which how many words are from our truely heart? Less than what we think, I guess. To be acceptable in society, we have to sacrifice honesty to say sth we don't mean. To be acceptable by ourselves, we require honesty to make our mind in peace. To be a person who I am and survive in society at the same time, we need a compromise - silence. We keep different opinions to ourselves when necessary in order to have principle without the expense of offending others.
Ironically, there is a chinese phrase called silent accept, which means when you're silent, you're assumed to accept or agree. Some business people say silence can be a weapon in negotiation if it is well used; some others say silence can save embarrassment in the game of relationship; I want to say silence can be as complicated as you could imagine.
11.9.06
Language
Since last week, my boyfriend and I have started helping for translations of the website of the magazine my brother ownes. I translate from Chinese to English and he edits my translation to good English. When I read his final work, I know more closely that there's a long way to go in my English writing and understand better that why he gave me his honest opinion as "bad English, bad writing" regarding a few blogs I wrote in English in the past. I appreciated his honesty, however these few words were hurt at the time he said to me. I gave up trying ever since and now I'm even more reluctant. It's one thing I feel sorry for myself that have been studying English for twenty years, I still can't write well.
English is a beautiful accurate language, which you don't realize until you read more. When you read something good, it makes you think, gives you strength and show you directions when you're lost, like a navigation in boundless ocean or a light in dark. In the meantime, a well written article amazes you with the words the writers use and the way they elaborate through which you see things clear no matter how complicated they were and writers' thoughts behind. Just as I have been touched many times by the power of Chinese in the past, reading English sometimes enlightens my thoughts and pleases my mind, like meeting a good friend when you don't expect.
Language is always beautiful, I think, regardless of its origin.
First posted at 26 September 2005
English is a beautiful accurate language, which you don't realize until you read more. When you read something good, it makes you think, gives you strength and show you directions when you're lost, like a navigation in boundless ocean or a light in dark. In the meantime, a well written article amazes you with the words the writers use and the way they elaborate through which you see things clear no matter how complicated they were and writers' thoughts behind. Just as I have been touched many times by the power of Chinese in the past, reading English sometimes enlightens my thoughts and pleases my mind, like meeting a good friend when you don't expect.
Language is always beautiful, I think, regardless of its origin.
First posted at 26 September 2005
8.9.06
A Group of Friends
Last week I was busy with rental property searching for my friend. I finally received the call from real estate agent yesterday to confirm the lease. Now I feel better.
Speaking of this group of my friends, there are always some nice things to remember them by. Jane was from MC program and we have known each other for about 5 or 6 years. But in the first two years when we were studying in Beijing at this program, I rarely talked to her. She seemed to me very quiet and has few things in common with me. Additionally, she always sat in the very front at lectures, which means we didn't have good chance to sit together as my theory when I was a student was to keep enough distance with lecturers as big as possible.
Not surprisingly, I hardly saw her as my friend until one day when I found out she was also transfering from Beijing to Sydney within the program and we took on the same plane flying to Sydney at our very first time. When we got in Sydney, we didn't know many people around. It might be more accurate to say that I was stuck with her for some reasons in the beginning than I was willing to. However since I started knowing her, I was always surprised by. The more I knew her, the more I realized that what a nice person she is and how many things in common between us are indeed. In the first few months in Sydney, just as everyone else who left home first time for a country they've never been to, we were excited and scared at the same time, excited about all new things associated with a new country and our new feelings, but scared of uncertainties in future. We didn't get along all the time during years, but we become friends now, the friend who will be there when you feel down, will encourage you when you're not sure, will laugh with you when you're happy and will understand you when you're not understood by others.
Ran is a friend at my age, but maybe because of some quality she carries or she looks to carry, she was always like a team leader. I followed her 'leadership' to host a party or organized a trip and didn't feel anything unusual. One day someone reconed me to host a dumpling party. Based on my entry-level cooking skill at that time and the lack of confidence on other gals when I looked around, I complete had no idea what I was going to do for the party. While I was worrying, I saw Ran's confident face, then I immediately felt relieved. "There's no need for me to worry if Ran is here." I told myself. Then we made plan, invited guests to come and assigned the tasks to everyone. On the day of party, everything went on good and surpringly some girls were very good dumpling makers which I didn't notice before. We had a big team of people for making dumplings but I couldn't find Ran anywhere. In the end right before we finished cooking, Ran came to the table from like nowhere and spent 20 minutes trying to make one dumpling. Making dumplings seemed hard to her, but wasn't hard enough to stop her from making hard-working pose in pictures. It turned out that this one single dumpling was her whole contribution for the day. After party, we were talking. I said, "I can't believe you don't know how to make dumplings. Why you didn't tell me before?" She looked so innoccent and said, "I never said I know." Then I suddenly realized she's right. If there's anyone I should blame to for little tiny disorganization during the party, that would be me who assumed from her confident looking that she must be an expect of dumplings and everything will be good if we have her. This is just Ran. Don't be fooled by her lookings can be a tip for you if you get chance to know her.
There are other friends in this group, each of whom has specific details that I always miss when they're not around. I was so lucky to have these freinds and they have brought my life more colors. Life has ups and downs as usual, but the unusual thing is that a special friendship makes down time less bitter.
First posted at 13 September 2005
Speaking of this group of my friends, there are always some nice things to remember them by. Jane was from MC program and we have known each other for about 5 or 6 years. But in the first two years when we were studying in Beijing at this program, I rarely talked to her. She seemed to me very quiet and has few things in common with me. Additionally, she always sat in the very front at lectures, which means we didn't have good chance to sit together as my theory when I was a student was to keep enough distance with lecturers as big as possible.
Not surprisingly, I hardly saw her as my friend until one day when I found out she was also transfering from Beijing to Sydney within the program and we took on the same plane flying to Sydney at our very first time. When we got in Sydney, we didn't know many people around. It might be more accurate to say that I was stuck with her for some reasons in the beginning than I was willing to. However since I started knowing her, I was always surprised by. The more I knew her, the more I realized that what a nice person she is and how many things in common between us are indeed. In the first few months in Sydney, just as everyone else who left home first time for a country they've never been to, we were excited and scared at the same time, excited about all new things associated with a new country and our new feelings, but scared of uncertainties in future. We didn't get along all the time during years, but we become friends now, the friend who will be there when you feel down, will encourage you when you're not sure, will laugh with you when you're happy and will understand you when you're not understood by others.
Ran is a friend at my age, but maybe because of some quality she carries or she looks to carry, she was always like a team leader. I followed her 'leadership' to host a party or organized a trip and didn't feel anything unusual. One day someone reconed me to host a dumpling party. Based on my entry-level cooking skill at that time and the lack of confidence on other gals when I looked around, I complete had no idea what I was going to do for the party. While I was worrying, I saw Ran's confident face, then I immediately felt relieved. "There's no need for me to worry if Ran is here." I told myself. Then we made plan, invited guests to come and assigned the tasks to everyone. On the day of party, everything went on good and surpringly some girls were very good dumpling makers which I didn't notice before. We had a big team of people for making dumplings but I couldn't find Ran anywhere. In the end right before we finished cooking, Ran came to the table from like nowhere and spent 20 minutes trying to make one dumpling. Making dumplings seemed hard to her, but wasn't hard enough to stop her from making hard-working pose in pictures. It turned out that this one single dumpling was her whole contribution for the day. After party, we were talking. I said, "I can't believe you don't know how to make dumplings. Why you didn't tell me before?" She looked so innoccent and said, "I never said I know." Then I suddenly realized she's right. If there's anyone I should blame to for little tiny disorganization during the party, that would be me who assumed from her confident looking that she must be an expect of dumplings and everything will be good if we have her. This is just Ran. Don't be fooled by her lookings can be a tip for you if you get chance to know her.
There are other friends in this group, each of whom has specific details that I always miss when they're not around. I was so lucky to have these freinds and they have brought my life more colors. Life has ups and downs as usual, but the unusual thing is that a special friendship makes down time less bitter.
First posted at 13 September 2005
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