coming in a few days late, my new year's resolution is finally here. i will put myself on hold for a year to support family and learn to feel content with what they achieve. in order to provide the security my husband will need this year with his expanding business, i will not try to change my job although i hate it. in order to provide more opportunities for my daughter to explore the world, i will try to get my driver license although it won't be as easy as what it's for most people given my psychological issues in driving test.
i know it doesn't sound exciting, but i will manage to make the best of it. it's the beginning of a whole new year, after all, and i look forward to it.
6.1.11
feeling old
haven't written anything on this blog for years. but i never forgot that i had a goal once upon a time that i would translate my chinese blog to english. i started the project in this blog, but, as how most of goals we had/have in life hasn't, unfortunately, panned out and as most of you have already guessed, it didn't get done. these days, instead of having goals and watching them being ignored and failing, i gradually intend not to have any goals any more. i know it's very nagetive and it also doesn't make me feel good. it makes me feel old.
anyway, i was visiting my sis-in-law's new blog on this site and after a few clicks i'm here looking at my old blogs and thinking of the old days i was blogging and trying to remember that old self when i wasn't a mum, when i was in the early days of relationship, when i called the one boyfriend instead of husband, when i had a big fight and slamed the door and when i was so emotionally dependent on everything happened 8000 miles away where my root was from.
yes, as how much i love what i have in life today, every now and then, i miss being twenty-something-year-old. i don't miss looking young. i don't have any problems with my wrinkles whatsoever. but i miss being young that if i wanted to be irresponsble here and there, i could, that if i wanted to be spontaneous, i would have full of energy for it. that if i wanted to stay up late hanging out with friends, drinking, chatting and having fun, i could because i could sleep in as much as i wanted to on the next day.
well, i know i'm practically whining now. so i'm gonna stop. i don't regret any decisions i made in my life. on the contrary i would've regreted if i didn't make these dicisions. my husband and my daughter are the best things ever happened to me in life and i wouldn't change them for absolutely anything. just sometimes at the end of a long day, i look at the grass on the other side of fence and think i know it's not, but it does look a bit greener.
anyway, i was visiting my sis-in-law's new blog on this site and after a few clicks i'm here looking at my old blogs and thinking of the old days i was blogging and trying to remember that old self when i wasn't a mum, when i was in the early days of relationship, when i called the one boyfriend instead of husband, when i had a big fight and slamed the door and when i was so emotionally dependent on everything happened 8000 miles away where my root was from.
yes, as how much i love what i have in life today, every now and then, i miss being twenty-something-year-old. i don't miss looking young. i don't have any problems with my wrinkles whatsoever. but i miss being young that if i wanted to be irresponsble here and there, i could, that if i wanted to be spontaneous, i would have full of energy for it. that if i wanted to stay up late hanging out with friends, drinking, chatting and having fun, i could because i could sleep in as much as i wanted to on the next day.
well, i know i'm practically whining now. so i'm gonna stop. i don't regret any decisions i made in my life. on the contrary i would've regreted if i didn't make these dicisions. my husband and my daughter are the best things ever happened to me in life and i wouldn't change them for absolutely anything. just sometimes at the end of a long day, i look at the grass on the other side of fence and think i know it's not, but it does look a bit greener.
5.1.11
back to Dec 2007
I was always asked in the end of every year about the new year's resolution and I never really thought about it carefully. I gave out my answer every time I was asked anyway, although later on I always thought I could've/should've had a better answer.
I enjoy reading other's resolution though. The end of a year uniformed blogs. During this special peroid of time, bloggers tend to start a post with the review of the ending year followed by the resolutions of the coming one. Those who regard themselves different from the most will put sth like "I know it's the time for resolution, but I'm not going to do that..." to begin a post. It always made me laugh - why people have to label everything including themselves? Resolving in the resolution-y time doesn't necessarily mean that you are not DIFFERENT.
... ... ...
PS. It's an unfinished entry at Dec 07 and has been saved in draft since. Now it's on the first week of 2011 (still on resolution-y mode) and I thought I will just post it. It's still how I feel about new year's resolution.
I enjoy reading other's resolution though. The end of a year uniformed blogs. During this special peroid of time, bloggers tend to start a post with the review of the ending year followed by the resolutions of the coming one. Those who regard themselves different from the most will put sth like "I know it's the time for resolution, but I'm not going to do that..." to begin a post. It always made me laugh - why people have to label everything including themselves? Resolving in the resolution-y time doesn't necessarily mean that you are not DIFFERENT.
... ... ...
PS. It's an unfinished entry at Dec 07 and has been saved in draft since. Now it's on the first week of 2011 (still on resolution-y mode) and I thought I will just post it. It's still how I feel about new year's resolution.
back to Nov 2006
It seems I've been retired of writing blog in English... I always thought of waiting for being hit by special inspirations before I started writing, especially in English - with the assumption that inspiration could make up the shortage of language. Since it looks that it's not happening, I will just write.
I will write about my friends again, a different group of friends from my past entries in here. I think it might be the virtue of a ture friendship that you don't plan for anything. Before you realise, you are already very close friends.
Speaking of this, I want to mention what I believe in relationship that if you love a person, you won't have a reason. If you have reasons, eg you love him/her because he/she is rich, because he/she is successful, because he/she is smart, because he/she is good-looking and has a killer sexy body, you love the things they have more than the persons who they really are.
I guess I'm trying to say feelings. When it comes to friendship and relationship, feelings speak lounder than logic, at least it is what it's supposed to be.
Back to this group, I always have so much fun when I hang out with them. They are all intelligent, beautiful and handsome, and more importantly, funny.
... ... ...
PS. It was an unfinished blog I started on Nov 2006 and didn't get to finish. This group of friends are still close, except one who has left the group due to break-ups with someone in the group. I don't want to clarify right and wrong in the failure of this relationship because there's none. At the time when it happened, our judgement as their friends might have been influenced by certain emotions. But now, after so many years, it's not as challenging as it was to be able to see the big picture that as to, if not all, the most of failed relationship, the reason is as simple as that it just doesn't fit. No one is right or wrong, no one is good or bad. They hurt, they lie, they cheat, they treat partners badly... all because they think logically, emotionally or subconsciously that it doesn't fit. However, as "bad" as she was when she left the group, she was the very one who inspired me blogging in English during those years when she was around. She is smart and a good writer. I liked reading what she wrote and was always inspired by. I think the intention of this entry was to write about her.
I will write about my friends again, a different group of friends from my past entries in here. I think it might be the virtue of a ture friendship that you don't plan for anything. Before you realise, you are already very close friends.
Speaking of this, I want to mention what I believe in relationship that if you love a person, you won't have a reason. If you have reasons, eg you love him/her because he/she is rich, because he/she is successful, because he/she is smart, because he/she is good-looking and has a killer sexy body, you love the things they have more than the persons who they really are.
I guess I'm trying to say feelings. When it comes to friendship and relationship, feelings speak lounder than logic, at least it is what it's supposed to be.
Back to this group, I always have so much fun when I hang out with them. They are all intelligent, beautiful and handsome, and more importantly, funny.
... ... ...
PS. It was an unfinished blog I started on Nov 2006 and didn't get to finish. This group of friends are still close, except one who has left the group due to break-ups with someone in the group. I don't want to clarify right and wrong in the failure of this relationship because there's none. At the time when it happened, our judgement as their friends might have been influenced by certain emotions. But now, after so many years, it's not as challenging as it was to be able to see the big picture that as to, if not all, the most of failed relationship, the reason is as simple as that it just doesn't fit. No one is right or wrong, no one is good or bad. They hurt, they lie, they cheat, they treat partners badly... all because they think logically, emotionally or subconsciously that it doesn't fit. However, as "bad" as she was when she left the group, she was the very one who inspired me blogging in English during those years when she was around. She is smart and a good writer. I liked reading what she wrote and was always inspired by. I think the intention of this entry was to write about her.
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