haven't written anything on this blog for years. but i never forgot that i had a goal once upon a time that i would translate my chinese blog to english. i started the project in this blog, but, as how most of goals we had/have in life hasn't, unfortunately, panned out and as most of you have already guessed, it didn't get done. these days, instead of having goals and watching them being ignored and failing, i gradually intend not to have any goals any more. i know it's very nagetive and it also doesn't make me feel good. it makes me feel old.
anyway, i was visiting my sis-in-law's new blog on this site and after a few clicks i'm here looking at my old blogs and thinking of the old days i was blogging and trying to remember that old self when i wasn't a mum, when i was in the early days of relationship, when i called the one boyfriend instead of husband, when i had a big fight and slamed the door and when i was so emotionally dependent on everything happened 8000 miles away where my root was from.
yes, as how much i love what i have in life today, every now and then, i miss being twenty-something-year-old. i don't miss looking young. i don't have any problems with my wrinkles whatsoever. but i miss being young that if i wanted to be irresponsble here and there, i could, that if i wanted to be spontaneous, i would have full of energy for it. that if i wanted to stay up late hanging out with friends, drinking, chatting and having fun, i could because i could sleep in as much as i wanted to on the next day.
well, i know i'm practically whining now. so i'm gonna stop. i don't regret any decisions i made in my life. on the contrary i would've regreted if i didn't make these dicisions. my husband and my daughter are the best things ever happened to me in life and i wouldn't change them for absolutely anything. just sometimes at the end of a long day, i look at the grass on the other side of fence and think i know it's not, but it does look a bit greener.
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